Here comes the snow

What is achievement?

Today, I want to look at how achievement is constructed in Nigeria and why many Nigerians equate monetary success with it. 

I have noticed that in Nigeria, many people conflate achievement with wealth. My analysis starts with narratives from social media and personal interactions with people. Indeed, if you want to hurt a Nigerian, tell them how poor they are. A typical insult is as follows:

"You have not achieved anything in your life and you are not ashamed of yourself. You are not married, you are jobless".

Nigeria is a place not to be 'poor' even though many people are living below $1 a day. The term 'poor' by many Nigerians correlates to not having access to any luxury in life. I put emphasis on luxury, which by definition some mean to own cars, a house or houses and fly to different countries.  Oh, and also share this lifestyle on social media for all to see. If not, how will people know you are a success? It is not shocking to see pictures of people who have 'achieved in life' with money sprawled all around them and with captions on their pictures such as "Pepper dem". Afte all, what is an achievement, if you are not able to rub your success on the faces of the millions of 'poor' people? You see people commenting on such posts with comments as "I claim this in Jesus name". Hardly any question is asked about the source of the wealth.

Also, there is a timeframe for you to have achieved all these if not, you are still termed a failure. You have to have made millions in your 20s and as a woman, be married in your mid-twenties, if not, you are an old hag. God help the woman if she is in her 30s, no husband or children, then, menopause is used in ridiculing her and she is called different sorts of derisive names from aunty Gwegwegwe to Ashawo.

You see the pressure on young men and women stressing themselves to reach this social construct. You see young girls in their 20s depressed that they have not met any man to marry, young boys stressed they have not 'hammered'. 

The social construct of achievement is unrealistic and could put unnecessary pressure on young men and women or anyone. Do not be in a hurry, there is no time frame for you to achieve anything, you owe it to yourself to be strong and happy, do not get ill trying to live for others. It is OK to go through life learning and growing, life is not a competition, you do not have to conform to society or its pressures, never compromise, live for you. Be you!

I believe that achievement should be much more than monetary success. It can be meeting personal goals that we set for ourselves and it can be from small goals to big ones. 

What do you define as an achievement? 

'As a man, you need to discipline your wife' says Ugandan MP

Have you seen this?


Apparently, men need to discipline their wives. Twinamasiko Onesimus, who represents Bugangaizi East constituency made this shocking statement.

--> "As a man, you need to discipline your wife...touch her a bit, tackle her and beat her to streamline her"- Onesmus Twinamasiko, MP, Bugangaizi East following comments by Museveni that men who beat women are cowards and should face the full wrath of the law



Culled from BBC website

I am a warrior!

Enjoy a poem from me. To all the amazing women out there, happy international women's day!

I am a warrior

I do not underestimate my strength, for I know what I have been through and the battles that I fought and fight daily.

I appreciate the strength within that keeps me from crumbling and giving up.

I take charge of any situation that comes my way. I am always ready for battle even on days that I do not have the energy for it.

I do not and will not shy away from battles, I face them squarely, looking into its face and ready for whatever comes after.

I am a warrior. I have seen battles, been in the midst of it, experienced it and am still standing.

Don't you get it? When you come for me, even in my silence, I will stand, watching, waiting for my turn and time to roar.

Still snowing

I am home and feeling very poorly. 

Pictures of Sheringham railway station!

I got on the steam train going from Sheringham to Holt and the ride was magnificent. It was like a movie scene. The scenery was breathtaking and the staff were amazing. The railway station also has a play area for children. Here are some of my pictures.

Ah, no music like Soukous!

I am enjoying some of the music I grew up with. My dad was my dancing partner and we both enjoyed the sweet melody of these songs. In fact, my dad introduced me to Soukous and I fell in love with Makossa. I hope to learn the Kizomba! Have a lovely weekend.

Oliver Ngoma, Adia

Monique Seka, Okaman

Mbilia Bel, Nadina

Never be deterred!

I am reading up on literature on feminism and gender. There are great stories to learn from strong and brave women who in their time made a change and also, made history. I read about the suffragette movement, the struggles and the sacrifice these women made.  I am immensely proud of all the women who sacrificed and are sacrificing one way or the other to leave a legacy for the future generation. I read about the Aba women's riot in eastern Nigerian and I am blown away by bravery and defiance, just to get their points across. In reading all these struggles and movement, I learnt that these women were never deterred. They pushed on, with their eyes on the prize.

The struggles continue and the advocacy continues in a heterogeneous way. Women all over the world have different battles that they fight and advocate for. In countries like Nigeria, the gender equality bill was voted down in the senate on the grounds of religion (Read on this link). The structures holding down women are not operating in a vacuum but intricately linked to religion, culture and social norms. Women's role is dictated by patriarchal powers which tend to subjugate women in reaching their potentials. You see this manifesting in violence against women, early marriage,  denial of social goods etc.

In learning from the movement of women from all over the world, I learn that there is also an epistemology in understanding the role of women in terms of thinking of policies and programmes for inclusivity. I glean from the great work of Sandra Harding and Donna Haraway.  Chimamanda Adichie's work on 'we should all be feminists' is just a joy to read.

I have never seen myself as a feminist. I detest labels. As a young girl from an African background, all my life, I have been labelled and dealing with labels and the definition it gives to me which is not who I as a human being is. I am given a tribe, a race, a religion, a socially constructed gender, an attitude or behaviour to live by etc. Hence, I am wary to assign a label to myself. However, I learnt from the readings I have done that several women from developing countries also share my view on labelling. Feminism is not a homogenised term. The definition covers different movements, theories, debates and philosophies. I am with Chimamanda, that we should all be feminists. Not in labels but in who we are.

How do we arrive at a just and sustainable future? We all have a role to play and must never be deterred by the battles, barriers and structures stopping us from achieving the world we seek for ourselves and the future generation.

South Africa's Gwara Gwara on the news!

Had to find out what the fuss was about. 
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Rihanna's performance at the Grammy Awards last night drew particular praise from South Africans after she did the popular gwara gwara dance.

Some clips from Youtube

Video

George Weah has called for the removal of a "racist" clause in the constitution which restricts citizenship to black people.

Liberia's President George Weah has called for the removal of a "racist" clause in the constitution which restricts citizenship to black people.

According to him, the clause was "unnecessary, racist and inappropriate".

In his first State of the Nation address since being elected president, he also pledged to scrap the law that prohibits foreigners owning land.

Liberia was founded by freed US slaves in 1847 as "a refuge and a haven for freed men of colour".

The restrictions introduced at the time were no longer necessary, Mr Weah said, adding that he also wanted a ban on dual citizenship to be abolished.

"It contradicts the very definition of Liberia, which is derived from the Latin word 'liber', meaning 'liberty'," he said.

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I am so willing him to do marvellously well. Time for the continent to review constitutions which still has redundant colonial policies.

Culled from BBC 

Home remedy for stubborn cough.

Yesterday, I tried the cough home remedy I saw online. The ingredients consisted of lemon, onions, ginger, garlic and honey. You don't have to add water but only squeeze out the juices from the ingredients. I did mine by blending onion, ginger and garlic with the juice of the lemon. After I extracted the juices, I added some homey and had two to four spoonfuls. It is about 24 hours after I started this remedy and I can feel a great improvement. I don't know if it is a placebo effect but I have not coughed after I began taking it and that itchiness in my throat is gone. This is great! A month of a niggling and annoying cough, gone! What are some of the home remedies that work for you?

Stubborn cough!

I am down with the flu again and this time, it came with a nasty cough. I am so miserable and feeling sorry for myself. I have had this niggling cough since the end of last year and want it gone. So, I went on Google to look for some home remedies and came across one I thought may be easy to make. The instruction for the recipe states to blend onions, garlic and ginger. Then add lemon and honey. It didn't mention quantity or dosage.

Well, I am going to give it a try. I am desperate for relief 😌. I will let you know if it works ☺.

Here are my ingredients.

I sieved the juices out of the blended items and didn't add water. I added honey and took my first spoonful.

I thought it was going to taste vile but to my surprise it didn't and I quite liked it. I think apart from the strong breath, this will not do me any harm.

Angels amongst us!

Hey! Who said that we have lost humanity? We still have amazing individuals in our midst! So, yesterday, I sprained my ankle and was in agony. To add to my pains, I started suffering flu-like symptoms. I was utterly miserable and not myself. By evening, I was already in so much pain that I decided to go to the pharmacist and get some painkillers. On my way out of the office, I met a senior colleague. She saw how in pain I was and refused to let me leave work. She insisted that she would walk me to the pharmacist and train station, but I refused. I didn't want to burden her. She went to her office, got me some painkillers and Bandage. She got on her knees and bandaged my ankle. I almost cried! I was so touched by her kindness, I didn't know what to do or say. She then gave me her mobile number to let her know I was OK.

This act of kindness made my day! She didn't have to go out of her way but she did. Thank you 'B' for being an angel to me!

It is snowing!

It is snowing right now!

Poem!

A poem titled 'Who are you'?

Who are you?
Do you know who you are?
Who are you?
Not you that was moulded by family or society,

Who are you?
Do you know?
Do you seek to know?
Do you really want to know?

Who are you?
Do you like yourself?
Do you like who you are?
Do you accept who you are?

Who are you?
Are you still searching?
Are you still crying?
Are you still finding?

Who are you?
You are you
You are beautiful
You are unique
There is no one like you

Love who you are
Accept who you are
Embrace who you are
Value who you are


Written by Lilian S