Segregation in churches

A friend was asking me why I was not attending church anymore. Somehow, we got talking and landed on the topic of segregation in churches.

The dictionary definition of segregation is 'the action or state of setting someone or something apart from others'.

So I have done the whole church business and worn the badge. I was one of those people who in their weakest point in life found solace in the church and naively thought everyone in church was pious and full of love.

I was so wrong!!! Initially, I was oblivious to all this segregation business until I noticed that some particular women- those that screamed when they spoke in tongues, jerked as if they were having paroxysmal attacks and went to the pulpit to testify how 'marvellous' their lives were - were actually the ones who were championing segregating people.

To me, the church atmosphere was akin to the surface of an ocean that was calm but inside rumbling with tensions. At the surface, people pretended to be all about holiness, perfection and agape love but underneath that pretence/mask were hearts full of deceit. You ask how I know the heart was deceitful? Because I have had first hand experience of being segregated. I couldn’t give a reason why I was segregated from the 'herd' but I could definitely say that insecurity had a lot to do with this.

Insecurities yep! There were unnecessary competitions among  some people in the church. Those who wanted to be identified as the 'best couple', 'exotic couple', 'perfect family', have 'most friends', 'most popular', 'most loved', 'most helpful' 'first to have a child' 'marry' etc.! One is now dragged into some stupid person's insecurities whether they are aware of it or not.

OK, did I mention that I was in church when I was at my lowest? Yep, but even at that lowest, my spirit was very cautious about some of these great 'pretenders'.

I remember some incidents that made me ask WTH I was doing with these people. One particular type of incident I remember was during the 'friendly' exchange at at the end of the service when the pastor says to the congregation to shake hands with ‘brothers and sisters’; I noticed some strange behaviour from some 'sisters' - the ones with great testimonies of how godly they are, tongue speaking, vision seeing sisters umhum! I say 'strange behaviour' because there were certain of them that definitely did not want to shake hands with others. I laugh about all these now.

The summary of it all as I told my friend was that I have lost faith in church people especially those with judgemental and sanctimonious attitudes. I have lost faith in people who use religion to hide who they really are and use the gullible in championing their demented sense of worth. I find that in many churches now, the competition to be the most popular, head of the herd is taking over from what a church should be! Those who want to be the leader of the pack and if one does not conform then that person gets segregated. The mob mentality seems to be taking over!

I now find people that use the bible and God to cover up their personal agenda very creepy. I can say that one finds the best actors and actresses in church. At the moment, I do not want to share my life and space with such people. I am taking this time to learn about my spirituality. I may go back to church someday, maybe another denomination.

Caveat:  Churches are not generalised in this write-up as there are no empirical studies carried out to definitely state that segregations happens in all churches. This write-up is based on personal experience and vicarious experiences.